Winnie The Pooh is Seriously a Dog
Alright fuck. Why do people get so fucking upset at me when I tell them that Winnie the Pooh is a dog? Seriously, do you all have some kind of gay little attachment to this dog? Whatever... anyway, people go crazy and tell me that he is a bear, fuck that shit. Look at him, he is obviously a dog! Think I don't know what the hell I am talking about? Let me explain, asshole.
I found this old school picture of Winnie. Look at the look on his face and the curve of his lips. He is obviously barking. It's as plain as day! With that said, let us go over the list of why he is a dog:
-He hangs out with a little boy, a small pig, and a bunch of other cute animals. Do you really think that a bear could hang out with these cute little things without mauling them to pieces and tearing them limb from limb? I think not. Boys grow into men, Pooh's best friend is a boy, dog's are man's best friend... you do the math.
-Dogs like hunny, Bears don't. I tested this out by giving some to pokey. He agrees, pooh is a dog.
-The Winnie
the Pooh theme song lyrics:
"Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, fluffy little puppy all stuffed with
fluff." Since when do they call bears puppies, retard?
-He is a pussy. How many bears do you know that are pussies?
-He lives in a tree. Dogs don't usually live in trees, but they live in dog houses. What are they both made of? Wood! Bears live in caves made of rock. I bet you won the science award.
-Where's the claws? He couldn't catch fish, climb trees, fight off other animals or anything! He would be killed in the wild in a second if he were a bear.
-How many bears hang out with donkeys? A lot less than the amount of dogs I guarantee.
You might say to me, man, he doesn't have a tail! How can he be a dog??? Well the answer to that is simple. He is a fucking cartoon. Ugh.
Now if you still aren't convinced, which I know, some of you aren't, I went into some archives to find some solid proof so you can't argue with me ever again about it. Read it. "He's a dog." Yeah that's right Christopher Robin, you sick piece of shit.
